One of my favorite comic motifs from Bill Watterson's classic Calvin and Hobbes series pits parental authoritarianism against childhood innocence. One example that initially popped into my head is in the scene where Calvin walks up to his father and asks:
- Calvin: Dad, where do babies come from?
- Calvin's Dad: Most people just go to Sears, buy the assembly kit, and read the instructions.
- Calvin: I CAME FROM SEARS?!?!
- Dad: No, you were a Blue Light Special at Kmart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper.
- Calvin: AAUUGHHH!
- Calvin's Mom: Dear, what are you telling him now?!
or better yet, the dad from The Christmas Story!
Anyways, this evening I volunteered to put our little girl to bed, which requires a diaper change, pajamas, a game or two, a story, a prayer, and a song. This evenings vocal selection came from the classic "Wee Sing Silly Songs" sing-a-long cassette--the song called "The Ants go Marching." (Maybe in a few years I'll pull out the guitar and attempt Dave Matthews version)
The song started without a hitch. "The ants go marching one by one HOORAW! HOORAW! . . . The little one stops to suck his thumb and they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain. BOOM BOOM BOOM." ect. ect.
Verse two came and the lyrics just didn't come as smoothly as in the first verse. How embarrassing is this, I got stuck on finding the rhyming word with two. "The ants go marching two by two, the little stops to . . ." I couldn't remember the rhyming word and just blurted out the first thing that came to my juvenile mind, "poo!"
In verse three, the little stopped to take a pee!
Parenting is too much fun especially when the kid has no idea what is being said. But when she does, trust me, I have a few tricks in mind.
One other thing before I go, I got my first look at the VISA Black card yesterday. Catering to the wealthiest 1% of all America, the VISA Black card was supposedly reserved for the social elite, folks that you and I only read about in supermarket tabloids or see on Entertainment Tonight. I must admit I was flabbergasted when I opened the giant black envelope and read I had been pre-approved. Top 1% of America? If that is true, this recession must have really wiped out like 99% of America. Doesn't VISA realize that my family was on welfare like three months ago? I have been a full-time graduate student for the past year, living off of savings with my wife and newborn daughter. Give me a break VISA. Do yourself a service and do some demographic research.